Sex Toys With
Your Partner

Even with people that you really trust, certain topics are just difficult to broach. If you have a partner you really trust, it shouldn’t be that hard to discuss the introduction of sex toys into your bedroom, but it is rarely ever that easy, is it?

The awkward nature of the conversation stems from many things: are they into something like that? How would you actually use these toys? Would they spice things up or just make things weird? These types of questions plague those who have never used sex toys before but don’t worry. They aren’t as big of hurdles as they seem. 

How to Start the Conversation About Sex Toys

If it’s your first time talking about something like this, chances are, it’s going to be a little awkward no matter what. Even so, the first important step is to acknowledge that there is nothing wrong or shameful about the topic. Most everyone has sex, and most everyone wants to feel good while doing it. It’s perfectly natural.

Toys are not in any way more depraved than having sex without them, so don’t feel ashamed. The second important thing to keep in mind is that there are all sorts of toys out there, capable of doing nearly anything you can imagine. This means there is something for everybody, including your partner. 

Finally, make sure you approach the topic in a way that benefits both you and your partner. Remember that sex is a two-person dance at least, and it requires both parties to be into what’s happening to be good.

When you raise the subject of sex toys, don’t make it all about yourself and what you want. Make sure you talk about how it could elevate the pleasure for your partner too. Showing them that you are thinking about the both of you will make them more accepting of what is being discussed.

Once you’re in the right mindset for the discussion, you need to pick a good time to actually have it. Naturally, you’ll want to pick a time when your partner is in a good mood: sometimes, during intercourse or immediately afterward is one of the best times, since sex will be on the mind, and thoughts about how it could be even better will be appealing.

During this conversation, you need to be open and frank with your partner about the kind of things you are thinking about and would like to try. At the same time, you need to accept that your partner may not be into everything you bring up, and you shouldn’t pressure them. Your partner is more likely to accept new ideas if they don’t feel like you’re demanding it of them.

And of course, don’t make it seem like the sex is lackluster and that only sex toys can salvage it. No one wants to hear something like that!

Selling the Idea

If you are going to talk about introducing sex toys into your love life, it would probably pay to know what kinds of toys there are out there, and how you could actually make use of them to spice things up. You should always know what you’re talking about when you make a proposition if you want other people to accept it.

Thing is, there is almost no limit to the number and types of toys out there. There is quite literally something available for every type of fetish and fantasy in existence. There are toys that simulate or imitate the genitalia of both genders, toys that vibrate, toys meant to stimulate hard to naturally reach G-spots, toys designed around roleplay, and much more.

Rather than talk about the hundreds of different toys that exist out there, it’s much more effective to focus on what particular things you and your partner are into, and which toys could elevate those experiences to the next level.

If your partner is into submissive or dominant roleplay, they may be interested in the notion of handcuffs, whips, latex, etc. If there’s a certain spot they love to have touched, then the idea of a toy that specializes in pleasuring that spot will probably appeal to them. 

Don’t go internet window shopping for sex toys to try and find just anything to buy without direction. Figure out what you and your partner like first, then go shopping with an idea about what kind of experience you want a toy to provide.

How Sex Toys Can Be Used in the Bedroom

If you haven’t used sex toys before, you might not have a good idea about just how versatile they are and how they can be used during intercourse. Knowing what types of things are possible would certainly make an argument for procuring sex toys more appealing.

You can use sex toys for either foreplay or actual intercourse, or both. One could watch their partner pleasure themselves with a toy as a means of foreplay. Some toys, like nipple clamps or plugs, stimulate erotic areas and could elevate the mood into something kinky before anyone actually gets down to business.

If you’re the roleplaying type, there are all sorts of toys and outfits one could use to set the kinky mood before going to town in the bedroom. Handcuff your partner (or be handcuffed yourself!) to the bed, use bondage rope to tie your partner into a tantalizing position, or just use costumes to play out that fantasy you or they have always had.

Of course, toys are not at all limited to mere foreplay. They can absolutely elevate the actual intercourse as well, in ways that are limited only by your imagination in most cases. Just owning a dildo opens up tons of possibilities in the double penetration department.

Have you ever wished you could stimulate your partner in two places at once? Or have them go down on you while also being pleasured elsewhere? That’s easy enough to achieve with a dildo. Something like a vibrator would allow you to stimulate your partner’s g-spot during intercourse as well. Sure, you can do that with your fingers, but you can’t make those vibrate, now can you?

BDSM gear like paddles and gags could go a long way in making for a kinky session, or you could get an all-in-one toy that pleasures everything in the downstairs department while tending to your lover in other ways.

Basically, if you can imagine it, there’s a sex toy out there that can make it happen.

Conclusion

It will probably be a little awkward talking about sex toys for the first time with your partner, but it’s worth it. There are so many ways toys can elevate your sex life in both foreplay and actual intercourse, from stimulating g-spots to prepping certain parts of the body for full-on sex, or just allowing for something you couldn’t otherwise do, like multiple penetration.

At the end of the day, having this conversation with your partner is mostly about knowing what both you and they like, and about taking their desires into consideration alongside your own. It’s all about being interested in increasing the pleasure of your sex life for both of you, not just yourself. Keep that in mind and it will go smoothly!

References

How to Talk About Sex Toys with Your Partner

https://mashable.com/article/how-to-use-sex-toys-with-partner