Pleasuring Him
Pleasuring your partner is going to differ from person to person. While getting to know what he likes, you can start by using various techniques to see what works best. This mini-guide will cover:
- The importance of foreplay
- How to initiate and perform a genital massage (AKA handjob)
- How to initiate and perform oral sex (AKA blowjob)
The Importance of Foreplay
Now and again, in the heat of the moment, jumping straight into sex is a fun and spontaneous thing. However, couples should not avoid foreplay in their everyday intimacy.
Foreplay accentuates both the physical and emotional aspects of sex while bonding couples before the act. For women, it also serves the important purpose of preparing the body for sex via lubrication. For men, it ensures the necessary erection.
For many couples, foreplay can even be seen as the main attraction, continuing until both parties experience an orgasm.
How to Initiate a Genital Massage (AKA Handjob)
Initiating any kind of foreplay begins at first base. You can start with something as simple as a kiss. Instead of the usual pecks for hellos and goodbyes, give your partner a passionate kiss that then turns into making out.
As things begin to get heated, use your hands to explore his body. Run your hands up and down his back, including the back of his neck and his back. Slowly make your way down to his waist, and then run your hand over his crotch area to show your interest.
If your partner is shy or hesitant, you can also place their hand on your chest to give them the green light for more passion.
As you run your hand on their crotch a couple of times, you may feel an erection forming. This is your sign to slowly start unbuttoning and unzipping his pants until you tug them and his underwear down far enough for his erection to appear.
How to Perform a Genital Massage
Now that you have his penis erect and visible, his pleasure is in the palm of your hand – literally.
- Lubricate
Before getting into the genital massage, you’ll need some sort of lubrication to keep your hands gliding comfortably over his penis. You can use a lubricant made for sex or an at-home alternative like lotion. For those in a tight spot, you can even use your saliva. Put enough lube either on your hand or directly onto the penis.
You can begin by massaging the lube all around the penis with your hand. Cup the penis in your hand gently and run your hand up and down its entire length. Start slowly at first, with long strokes, and then progress to shorter, slow strokes focusing on the head of the penis.
- Listen
The key to performing a good handjob on your partner is listening. If your long strokes are responded to with silence, but your shorter strokes initiate moaning, you know your partner prefers the latter. Listen and look for cues like heightened breathing, moaning, deep breaths, and verbal encouragement from your partner to show you what he likes.
- Set a Rhythm
The penis might be hard, but it isn’t actually made of wood, so don’t hold it too tightly. You should be performing light and slow strokes to start, adapting the speed according to how your partner responds.
You shouldn’t be switching from fast to slow strokes too often. Try to set a rhythm and stick to it for the first few minutes. Now and again, make sure to lightly cusp his testicles too, but only for a second before returning to the job at hand (pun intended).
When he reaches his climax, begin to speed up your strokes until he orgasms. If you’re looking for an untraditional finish, you could also offer for him to finish on your chest.
A genital massage can last anywhere from a minute to over twenty depending on the guy, but the key is to use his cues to make sure he’s enjoying it. While you’re giving the massage, he could also be touching you, your body, kissing you, or simply leaning back and enjoying.
How to Initiate Oral Sex (AKA Blowjob)
Initiating a blow job begins the same as a handjob would – by getting through the bases until you hit third. Once you start to unzip his pants, make sure he takes them all of the way off (or at least one leg).
Then, go from kissing his mouth down to his neck, chest, and around and on his genitals. Gently cup his penis in one hand, as you would during a genital massage, and place the tip in your mouth.
Unless it’s edible lube, your primary lubricant for a blowjob should be your saliva. Make sure there’s a lot of it on the penis and your cusping hand. If you’re into it, you could even spit on the penis and watch your partner’s response (it’s likely positive!).
How to Perform Oral Sex
Once the penis is in your mouth, you’ll want to use both your mouth and hand for top-notch oral sex. Your hand should be making an O by your thumb touching the tip of your pointer finger. Press this O against your mouth and keep it there.
Move your mouth and your hand together up and down the shaft. Suck almost as if using a straw – if your mouth starts to hurt, you may be sucking too hard.
There are some key tips to keep in mind when performing oral sex.
Plenty of salivae is essential.
Don’t ignore the testicles – they need love too. During oral sex, switch to a handjob momentarily and show his balls some love by kissing or lightly sucking on them.
Use sensory stimulation with your other hand by grabbing his leg, lightly brushing his skin, or exploring around and beneath the penis and testicles as you perform oral sex.
Make eye contact with your partner during the act.
Ask your partner what they like to improve your technique.
And, perhaps the biggest tip of all, enjoy it! Most of your partner’s excitement is going to come from the fact that you chose and wanted to perform oral sex on them. Let them see that you’re enjoying it by adding in moans and telling them how you feel during oral sex. They’ll be sure to go wild!
References
https://www.webmd.com/sex-relationships/features/sex-why-foreplay-matters-especially-for-women#:~:text=Foreplay%20serves%20a%20physical%20and,is%20important%20for%20comfortable%20intercourse.
https://www.womenshealthmag.com/sex-and-love/a19922104/oral-sex-tips/
https://www.betterhealth.vic.gov.au/health/healthyliving/Oral-sex